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In Need Of Motivation

28 July 2016

I've been pretty ill this week - not the words I was ideally hoping to return with after an 18 month hiatus (seriously) from blogging, but I was off work today, feeling all sorry for myself as I laid under my duvet, coughing and spluttering, when suddenly I had one of those moments. It was like my brain had had enough of my internal whining and took action - by shoving it's foot up my arse. It felt almost like an epiphany, almost like I was about to throw up, almost like I might have taken one too many Lemsip- the important part is... I'm back.

I started a new job last May, after a few months of being unemployed. I'd got into that rut previously of not having money and spending all my time job hunting and drowning in rejections and all that, but then I got an interview, and a follow-up interview, and a job! *solo Mexican wave, feel free to join that'd be lovely, thank you*

It's quite easy to maintain a base level of motivation at work, you want to make money and you want to keep your job, and anything else that passes by to keep you going is a very welcome bonus. When you've finished for the day though, and have that hour commute home, and apprenticeship coursework to do, lunch to make for the next day, showers and grooming and washing and etc etc. it's hard to find the time or effort for anything else.

I realise that this is adulthood, and that responsibilities are a thing, and I'm by far not the only one that is disheartened by this, but I've found that I'm not really doing anything with my actual free time anymore... because I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm saving up money bit by bit for my own place, if something really cool comes up that me and my friends want to do, we'll go and do it, or we'll have a meal or a Starbucks or something, but apart from that, I'm at home nearly every evening, waiting for the weekend so I can relax, relaxing by doing very little, regretting it come Sunday evening, and starting the cycle again.

This is quite easily resolvable by just, you know, making plans and doing things, and I've spent the day planning things I want to make and places I want to go, which excites me greatly. I'm not quite sure what the point of this post was - maybe it's to cement this idea slightly, so I've got that motivation to actually do something, or it's just a way for me to practice writing again, and return to this blog with what I do best... a little bit of a moan. Either way, I'm about to hit the last full stop and post this thing, and it feels great.
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